My sister
and I are very different. Rachel has
long, dark, curly hair while I have blond and straight. Rachel enjoys nature, fields, and the wind,
while I would prefer to watch it on
the Discovery Channel. Rachel is
compassionate and thoughtful, while I avoid emotional situations and lack
self-analysis. But there is one thing
that keeps our sibling relationship going: our shared love for Beyoncé. We are both obsessed, and this is our big
connection. But even with this, our
three-year difference in age is noticeable.
We both
gain from our age variance. I learn
about her high school culture, and she’s updated in the real-life college
culture, which she will be attending next year.
Rachel also keeps me up-to-date on our family life. She lets me know the latest happenings with
the rest of our family, as I am the oldest of four and hundreds of miles away
at college. But Rachel has acquired much
knowledge about college life through me.
Her junior year, the college search process became a reality for her and
she is continually seeking advice and information about my day-to-day
life. Psychology Today even found that
many sister siblings bond to share their resources and ideas (Marano
2010). While I gain knowledge from her
about high school changes (like how the tennis team is compared to when I
played) and our family, she is learning from me about the out-of-state college
experience.
Even though
I was a high school student not long ago, I find my sister breaking that teenager
stereotype often when talking with her.
She’s not boy-crazy, a shop-a-holic, or acts selfishly. I can be tough on her, but her mature personality
shines through. At college, I think I am
breaking the sorority girl stereotype for my sister as well. She thinks we’re a large group of girls that
hangs out, paints each other’s nails, and watches movies every night. This is not the case. In fact, I have emphasized that we all still
have alone time, and the sorority is a lot more “real” than is depicted in
movies and television shows. Our age
difference allows us to recognize these stereotypes and their disparities.
However,
there are also some challenges with our relationship. As Rachel is still a teenager, I notice when
she is acting overemotionally or being dramatic, and sometimes don’t act nicely
towards parents or siblings. I was
similar in high school, and I do recognize this. She also is very indecisive and, as I am not,
it really bothers me. At both our ages
we are rather busy, so it is hard to keep in touch and see each other as well,
so this has posed to be a challenge.
The personal-contextual
dialectic is situational. There are some
instances in which the individuals are consistently comfortable, whereas other
areas, topics, or instances result in more discomfort (Martin and Nakayama
2013, p. 397). My sister and I are
always comfortable around each other for the most part. We do save some topics for friends,
however. This includes things having to
do with social behavior, like parties, along with romance topics. I don’t care to share about each other’s love
lives; I just don’t feel comfortable doing so.
I am glad to note that we are always comfortable with how we look or act
in front of each other, regardless of how embarrassing it may be. I think our sibling relationship is much
similar to most, there just is a certain line.
Certain conversation topics are handled better when talking to friends.
The
differences-similarities dialectic points out that people are more drawn to
others who share their same similarities.
This leads to cognitive consistency; liking others who share our views,
since we tend to like ourselves. Obviously,
Rachel and my relationship is a little different than the example of attraction
discussed in the book (Martin and Nakayama 2013, p. 398). I still do feel that Rachel and I bond over
our similarities and avoid each other’s differences. Again, Rachel is much more emotion-based, and
I tend to stray away from her emotions.
I also avoid any drama that has to do with high school and her friend
group. I feel that since I recently
graduated from those high school days, I don’t want to be brought back to
them. Rachel doesn’t ask me about my
social life as much, either, because I am a little more outgoing than her. A final example could be in relation to
television shows, as low-culture as that is.
We both share a love for How I Met Your Mother, and watch that on a
regular basis together. However, I love
Breaking Bad and she loves One Tree Hill.
We both haven’t adopted each other’s television shows and don’t plan
to. These differences in television
shows are addressed, but we tend to avoid those.
While
Rachel and I have our differences and might avoid certain topics haphazardly in
a conversation, I feel that, despite our differences in age, our intercultural
relationship works out very well. In
fact, the U.S. News and World Report found that siblings encourage us to be
different from them (Lyon 2009). Rachel
and I have maintained a good amount of dissimilarities in our lives, and I
think that because of this, we are actually closer.
Lyon, L. (2009). 7 ways your siblings may have shaped
you. U.S.
News and World Report. Retrieved
from http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/articles/2009/07/31/7-ways-your-siblings-may-have-shaped-you?page=2
Marano, H. E.
(2010) Oh, brother! Psychology
Today. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201006/oh-brother
Martin, J.N. & Nakayama, T.K. (2013).
Intercultural Communication in
Contexts (6th ed.) New
York, N.Y. : McGraw Hill.
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