This year I had the opportunity to talk to some of the other campus tour guides who I didn't get the opportunity to talk with much last year. One of them, Justice Jones, has become a friend outside of work and has made this year a blast! However, sticking with the theme of this blog, Justice is black and from Virgina while I am white and from Nebraska. Justice is the kind of guy who recognizes who is and where he is at so him being in the racial minority never seems to affect him. We talk regularly and have hung out almost every weekend together for the past few months. Justice always gives me a different perspective on everything and it is my favorite part about our relationship. Sometimes though it can be a little difficult to understand where we are both coming from, this mainly stems from the different customs and language used from our different upbringings.
"According to the similarity principle, we tend to be attracted to people who we perceive to be similar to ourselves, and evidence indicates that this principle works for many cultural groups (Osbeck & Moghaddam, 1997; Tan & Singh, 1995 via Martin & Nakayama pg. 398)". The Differences-Similarities Dialectic describes how similar people tend to congregate or the age old "opposites attract" philosophies work in intercultural communication. The similarity principle is a piece of this Differences-Similarities Dialectic. The book goes on to describe how sometimes people intentionally seek out others with the same thoughts or others who have a different outlook compared to theirs in order to expand their knowledge on life. In terms of my relationship with Justice, I think it is more of a case concerning the similarity principle. We both are very laid back and take life as it comes kind of guys that share a cherub like demeanor. In isn't often Justice and I disagree on anything which keeps our relationship flowing smooth at all times.
(I would put a picture of Justice and I up but unfortunately we have a lack of pictures taken together)
"The Static-Dynamic Dialectic suggests that people and relationships are constantly in flux, responding to various and personal contextual dynamics (Martin and Nakayama pg. 400)." The Static-Dynamic Dialectic explains intercultural relationships by looking at the changing identities of the two individuals in a specific relationship. Sometimes when people meet they will both have the same identity like being a students at the same university or single bachelors at the same time. However, eventually one may get married before the other and then the two individuals will have to start communicating in different way due to the identity shift. Right now between my friend Justice and I, we follow the first portion of the scenario I laid out at the beginning of this paragraph. We both attend UNL and are single. However, neither of us are planning on staying here in Nebraska after graduation and I assume one of us will get married at some point. So right now we are in a Static portion of the Dialectic but one day we will identify with the Dynamic portion of the Dialectic. This is definitely a good thing for all relationships because if nothing ever changes, the relationship may get to stagnant and boring which could result in losing a friend.
Martin, J. N., & Nakayama, T.
K. (2013). Experiencing intercultural communication: an introduction
(6th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
I can definitely relate to your intercultural relationship. You guys both appreciate your similarities and differences, which is what makes your relationship work. I believe in any relationship, you need similiarities and differences in able to function but also have enough to talk about.
ReplyDeleteI too wrote about static-dynamic dialectic. I feel at this college phase of our lives, it is the most prominent of our relationships. We are constantly changing who we want to be and where we want to go. We may be distant from high school friends, and gaining new friends. It's hard to keep our relationships consistent, but with the right communication they are not destined to fail.
ReplyDelete