CAPS 6: Intercultural Relationships

Teal Anderson: More Than Just A Color

A look at the intercultural relationship between two friends

Teal Anderson is not only my former co-worker, but she is also my best friend. We literally can do everything together. From going on runs to sitting around on Saturday nights watching Audrey Hepburn movies, we have a great friendship. I had the privilege of meeting Teal this summer at work. Teal is a beautiful combination of heritages, with her mother being white and her father being African American. We both grew up in the same town but never got to know one another until this past summer. Teal is artistic and idealistic and is one of the strongest women I know. She always gives the best advice, and after experiencing racism in a very “white” small town, she has grown confident in who she is and owns it. Teal has opened my eyes to how hurtful stereotyping can be, not only for African Americans, but many other cultures and races.

Leslie A. Baxter’s dialectical model explains the dynamics of relationships. One of the dialects is the Privilege-Disadvantage relationship. Though I do not believe this relationship describes Teal and I, it does describe the relationship Teal has with some people she has encountered at school, work, and in small-town Nebraska. There is a stress of power and power differentials in intercultural relationships. Some people form an entire intercultural relationship based on this idea of one person being the one with privilege and the other being the one with a disadvantage (Martin & Nakayama, 2013, p. 399). Teal and I come from similar socioeconomic backgrounds: we both come from middle-class families, have always worked, and have both dealt with personal issues that have affected our family situations; therefore, I cannot say one of us is “better” or “worse” than the other. However, certain individuals that attended her high school or her fellow co-workers have portrayed Teal as “having a disadvantage” because she is half-black. They see her coming from a different background and different race and automatically associate those difference with the “lesser”. It is unfortunate that our small town must resort to such thinking.

I believe that the Differences-Similarities Principle most closely matches the relationships between Teal and I. “According to the similarity principle, we tend to be attracted to the people who we perceive to be similar to

ourselves, and evidence indicates that this principles works for many cultural groups (Osbeck & Moghaddam, 1997)” (Martin & Nakayama, 2013, p. 398). We need people who are similar to us in order to carry on conversations and form strong bonds for a true relationship to form. Teal and I have a lot in common: we enjoy the same music, same movies, and same hobbies. Though she is from a different racial background, we are very much the same person. However, the text also goes on to say that “in intercultural relationships, we may be attracted to persons who are somewhat different than ourselves.” There is a part of me that is drawn to our cultural differences. I enjoy having a close friendship with someone of another race. It is refreshing from the Caucasian norm of our small town. Though Teal may not experience such feelings due to her being the minority, I do believe that part of my personality wants to be friends with those of different races, religions, and sexual identities that are different from my own because I hope to grow as a person and also have a diverse group of friends.

Overall, I am very thankful that I have Teal for a friend. Not only has she made me a better person in improving my personality and always being up for fun, she has also allowed me to build upon my diverse group of friends from whom I can learn more and more from and grow as a person. 

Martin, J.N., & Nakayama, T.K. (2013). Experiencing intercultural communication: An introduction (6th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.