My Intercultural Relationship

          Landon Young and I have been in a romantic relationship for a year and a half now. Both being skeptical about beginning a relationship, I have been lucky enough to get to know him for 4 years. Although we are the same age, we belong in different cultural groups. Landon is a Californian with a white mother and black father. He has some ties to his father’s Southern Baptist religion, yet knows little to nothing about his full ethnicity and nationality background. I am from Nebraska, have white parents, no specific religion, and am highly involved in my Greek heritage. Needless to say we have difference, which brings forth benefits and challenges.  

           Benefits include relational learning, or “learning that comes from a particular relation but generalizes to other context” (Martin & Nakayama 2013). I’ve become humbled about where I’ve come from, when learning about Landon’s family and their troubles. I’ve also become more knowledgeable about perspectives, religion and African American culture through his family.  There is always something new we are able to teach each other. However, there are some challenges that come with different cultures. Many times we can’t relate to each other. An example would be Landon upset after his football game, because someone used a racial slur towards him. I can be empathetic, but I will never know that feeling. Whereas he doesn’t understand why my big Greek family is so important, because the only family he has is intermediate. The main challenge is Landon and I being in a romantic relationship at all. I’d be lying if I said my family was 100% okay with it, or that we don’t get looks out in public. It’s hard, but it really does make our skin thick and bond strong.

     Leslie A. Baxter describes six different dialectics of intercultural relationships, that apply to the relation Landon and I have. Two in particular that apply would be differences-similarities and static-dynamic. Our text explains that we look for people who are similar to us, but to enhance a sense of novelty, we also seek differences (Martin & Nakayama 2013).  When it comes to Landon and I there are present novelties. He has interests not like many Nebraskans when it comes to food, clothing, sports, etc. I learn a lot more about different cultures through this uniqueness. However it is important that I can relate to Landon on some sort of level, so we have similar interests to bond over. This includes our love for classic movies and Kanye West. When it comes to our static-dynamic dialect, the best example would be our age. Landon and I are the same age, both 20, and going to college. We are at a point in our lives where we are planning our futures, and aiming to become our true selves. Going to different colleges and having different experiences keeps our relationship in flux. However, with the positive communication and understanding, I am hopeful that we will continue to grow even closer, no matter our cultural standing.

Resources

Martin, J. N., & Nakayama, T. K. (2013). Intercultural communication in context. (6th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.