Intercultural Relationships

The subject of my intercultural relationship is my roommate Matt. We met when he was assigned to my suite in The Courtyards dorm with me and my two fraternity brothers. We eventually recruited him, and later that year he told me that he was gay. This was the first time that someone had officially "come out" to me and I'm proud to say that I accepted him unconditionally, even though I was surprised. Matt doesn't fit any of the stereotypes that the media associates with gay men, (i.e. Modern Family: http://www.hulu.com/modern-family) he doesn't dress or talk flamboyantly, and generally fits the description of a masculine person.

Although I was somewhat familiar with gay people because I met some while I was in Show Choir in High School, this was my first experience with a gay friend, rather than simply a gay "acquaintance." The relationship I have with Matt has helped me in many ways to learn and think about people's perceptions differently. Matt is an American, but his parents are Asian, so he deals with the physical half of being a racial minority, if not the cultural half, so it is interesting to learn about his perspective because he is accustomed to being treated like a minority before people learn about his sexual orientation. I have also become increasingly sensitive to remarks about gay people, because instead of simply thinking about a hypothetical person, I empathize with Matt.

Our relationship is applicable to the Personal-Contextual dialectic, because although we are on good personal terms, there are contexts where that doesn't become a factor. The type of communication that we engage in varies greatly one on one or with my girlfriend who knows he is gay, compared with our other fraternity brothers or at other social gatherings where others do not know he is gay. As the context changes, our personal communication changes. For example, if he visits over break when I live with my parents, we don't talk about his dating life because my parents do not feel the same way as I do about gay people, and I wouldn't want them to change the way they treat him.

In addition, the Static-Dynamic dialectic applies, because the relationship changes depending on his romantic relationships. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost four years, so he sometimes asks us for general dating advice, or to get a perspective different from his own. Other times, when he struggles with living in a Republican state, he doesn't want to hang out with us because hanging out with "the happiest couple I know" makes him depressed.

In conclusion, my relationship with my roommate is important to me, I consider him a close friend. He has been a source of education for me, and has helped me to better understand a segment of the population that I would not have had experience with otherwise.